Workers in the hospitality industry will tell you that it happens more often than you might think, and it can become a very serious safety issue. When someone is denied another alcoholic beverage, often the result of over-imbibing over the course of an evening, things can become a bit unruly. This is why those in the industry should be trained to recognize potential issues and know how to de-escalate the matter quickly. Let’s consider a few ways in which to help contain a tricky situation.
Stay Calm and Professional
If a patron begins to demonstrate a temper after he or she has been cut off, the best course of action is to keep calm and communicate in a professional manner. Approach the individual privately and explain the matter in a soft and non-accusatory tone.
It’s likely best to avoid putting the blame on the individual. Don’t suggest that he or she has had too much to drink or is too drunk. Simply explain that company policy prohibits servers from continuing to serve alcohol under very specific circumstances. Make this about you, not them. The goal is to be discreet and courteous so as not to cause any undue embarrassment for the patron.
Also, consider allowing the customer a complimentary soda or water. If he or she is clearly intoxicated, arrange to have a taxi or a private transport company like Uber get them home or to their next destination. From bar to door, comfort, console and assure the patron that you look forward to serving them again soon.
Make it Their Idea
It’s a fun and challenging truth in life: the most effective way to get someone to do something you want or need them to do is to make that person believe that it is his or her idea. As you dialogue and offer a comforting tone, start to plant those seeds. Ease the conflicted patron into a state of understanding or trust and he or she will be more able to absorb the direct or indirect suggestion that it’s time to leave.
Simply drop the clues. As mentioned, maybe tell the patron that a taxi or ride share is on the way. In this moment, you’re offering a kindness but at the same time you are literally directing him or her away from the bar with the suggestion that it’s time to go. While highly intoxicated people can be difficult or unruly, they are also easier to manipulate or lead under the right circumstances.
Be an Active Listener
An intoxicated patron who is being refused service will likely have a lot to say on the matter. Depending on the level of intoxication, it could be simple chatter. However, the patron could also start to become more argumentative.
Don’t judge or put yourself in a position to judge. In this moment, the best approach is to allow the patron his or her voice. Accept what’s being said while mentally preparing your response. One way to make sure that they know they are being heard is to repeat their concerns with a comforting tone. Once they have had their say then offer your counter and in a way that is kind while also being suggestive. Don’t oversell the issue. Again, don’t make it about them.
Be Firm but Fair
Sometimes a kind suggestion falls on deaf ears. When it’s time to be more firm, be more firm. However, the point here is to not start with a firm voice but to let it build up to that, as needed.
Don’t let an intoxicated patron persuade you into believing that “one more” is fine or even that he or she should be allowed to finish his or her current drink. Be clear about your intent. If the issue becomes more involved then be more firm while still using respectful body language and gestures.
If need be, let the patron know that you can and will involve other employees to make sure that the situation is properly resolved. Don’t use this tactic unless absolutely necessary. There’s no need to involve others unless the situation erupts and poses a potential threat to other patrons. In that moment, the over-imbiber should be respectfully restrained and led to the nearest door.
If police or security is on-site, make sure the patron in question can actively hear you explain to the peace officer that everything is fine. Make sure that the patron knows you are on his or her side. As a server, it’s your job to be an advocate for all your patrons. However, there are times when that advocacy must be forfeited for the sake and safety of those around you.
If the situation becomes more aggravated then, yes, a member of the management team or, possibly, a police presence might be called for. If this happens, maintain your sense of professionalism. Stay fair and focused and allow everyone to do their job as needed.
The Importance of De-Escalation
De-escalation serves both sides of the conflict. To start with, an intoxicated patron will likely wake the next day feeling more than a bit embarrassed for his or her behavior. If you handled the situation correctly, this could result in a heartfelt apology while also nurturing a very workable and agreeable relationship with a regular patron. In other words, the right patron will respect your efforts and that goes a long way in keeping the future peace of your establishment.
If a situation is not properly de-escalated, this could result in a number of problems. To start with, an aggravated imbiber might threaten you or blame your venue for overserving him or her. This could result in a word-of-mouth “blame game” which might negatively affect your image or branding of your venue. Failure to de-escalate could also result in damages to your venue as well as other patrons being affected or even injured.
When it comes to de-escalating a situation because alcohol is denied, a firm but respectful strategy is recommended. Stay calm and lead with a reassuring, professional tone.
If you feel that you or your staff could benefit from an education in de-escalation, ACA can help you secure the right training and certifications for your servers. A properly trained staff is an affordable and effective way to protect you, your patrons and your establishment.
American Course Academy offers several alcohol serving permits including the ones linked below:
Utah Alcohol Server Training Course
